I’ve been thinking a lot these last few weeks about how important it is to remain present minded in relationships- all types of relationships and experiences really, but I’m thinking about romantic relationships specifically. I know I’ve had the problem of feeling that everything was going great and not focusing on that, but rather how I could perpetuate that feeling. Or I hear many friends talk about how much they’re enjoying someone, but fearing that it might turn into something they can’t handle, thereby creating the same anxiety they were striving to avoid. How many perfectly good relationships do we ruin by worrying about the future? How wonderful would it be if we just let ourselves be immersed in the experience without overthinking it?
I can’t help but consider all of the real suffering in the world (I work at a human rights organization) and wonder why we so often make trouble for ourselves where it need not exist. I know the argument is that it’s all relative, but is it? We could be living in Iraq, Afghanistan or Somalia and have to face the constant stress of feasible violence- parents, sisters and lovers being killed on a routine trip to the market. That, to me, is stress. I would think that most people who have time to write blogs and surf the web also have their basic needs accounted for- food , shelter and clothing. I’m not saying that it’s likely, or even necessarily desirable to be completely without expectations, but what if we had a few less? What if we could “just be” a few more minutes of each day?
The consumer mentality functions largely by making us worry about and live in the future tense. We would buy a lot less if we were just enjoying the moment…and that’s bad for business. And maybe that’s part of what’s going on with relationships. I speak only for myself, but I’ve been hearing many similar stories from my friends lately. So…I’m making the intention to “just be” a little more often, especially when it comes to my romantic affairs/relationships. I want to cultivate a feeling of openness and space so I have room to enjoy the beautiful people that come my way without the worry- there’s enough to REALLY be worried about.
