I saw the Tricky show last night- I’ve had a crush on Tricky’s voice since middle school. I had never seen him live before and he was amazing. As I was watching him, I was thinking about what makes his music so sexy. It’s his voice- so intense and breathy. The way he was moving on stage didn’t hurt either. And it’s also that his music IS sex in a way- it’s slow and sultry and then it builds and right when you think the crescendo is hitting its peak, he slows it down again. He makes you wait for it- this is what I love.
I bought the tickets a while back and thought if I was dating someone by the time the show came around, it would make an excellent date. I’m not dating at the moment (by choice) and so I took a friend- a friend who I knew would enjoy it as much as me and she had a great time. It felt good to share it with her. Though I couldn’t help but wish I had arms to lean back into. I’m happy being single, my life is really busy at the moment- I don’t even know that I’d have time to date. But, in those moments, I miss it…and part of me hates that I want it. I don’t want to need anyone else to achieve a level of happiness, but I don’t think it’s about that. When a romantic relationship is functioning well, it serves as an enhancement to everything else- a glow or a gloss on an already satisfied “me”. I think there was a time I felt I needed it a lot more- that it was a requirement for a complete life. I no longer think that. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t moments, like last night, when I feel a distinct absence.
