To Dye or Not to Dye?

My dark brown hair has recently been invaded by more and more grey. I used to just pull the noticeable ones out, but ever since we had to watch a documentary on trichotillomania in one of my psych. classes, I have an aversion to even the most subtle hair pulling (“pulling out” I should say- [...]

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The Butch/Trans Divide

So many things to say about the Queer Bodies in Psychotherapy conference last weekend…and so much homework I should be doing right now. I’ve decided to break it up into multiple posts. I’d like to begin by discussing a panel I attended on Saturday entitled “Butch Lesbians: A Vanishing Breed”. The presentation about butch identity [...]

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Femme-ness & Consumerism (A Few Thoughts)

There’s been some conversation this week on Sublimefemme  on “femme pleasure” in relation to consumerism. I just want to say that the emphasis on the outer when we discuss femme is quite off putting to me. I understand that a part of femme identity has to do with presentation- you’re more likely to find me [...]

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My (Skinny) Femme Body

I’ve been reading some great writing by fat identified femmes lately about having pride in one’s body. Reading about size acceptance (from a queer perspective specifically) has been amazing, especially because I hear so little of it from my heterosexual female friends. Now I’d like to write about my own body pride…skinny pride.
Now I know it’s much easier to be thin [...]

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A Different Kind of Femme Conference

So this past weekend was the femme conference in Chicago. While I did not have the money to attend, I am curious to read how it went. I read a few blog postings prior to the weekend- one from a femme who had made the choice not to attend, another from a participant discussing what [...]

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Finding a History That Speaks to Me…Finally

I FINALLY got my hands on a copy of Joan Nestle’s edited collection The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader. I’m not even halfway through, but I’ve been devouring it in sumptuous mouthfuls.  Why didn’t I know this book existed ten years ago?! No matter, I’m still extremely grateful to have found it.
I’m enjoying the autobiographical pieces [...]

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How I Love Jeanette Winterson…

I just wanted to share a short Jeanette Winterson story I found online, originally published by The Independent, called The Final Sacrifice. I am forever in awe of Winterson’s writing and she evokes feeling from me in a way no other writer has. I’ll share two of my favorite excerpts here…
“Today though, Achilles has to make time. [...]

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Feeling “Other”

As a queer girl living in NYC, I’m a bit out of place in certain situations, but I usually feel relatively at home. When I’m alone, like it or not (and that’s a not for me), I pass as straight and so I’m viewed as “the norm”. But when I’m with a butch lover or friend, I’m suddenly aware of [...]

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By Way of Introduction…Specifically, The Femme Question

My identity has come under some scrutiny recently (not a bad thing), specifically around whether or not I claim “femme” as an identity.
What does it mean to claim femme as an identity? Sure, I’m a queer who presents as “feminine”. I like to wear dresses, skirts, fishnets and heels…not everyday of course. But femme is [...]

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